how you know you’ve gotten too used to egypt air/air arabia/middle east airlines
- You feel entitled to bringing as many liquids in as large of bottles as you want and you truly believe that no one has the right to tell you otherwise.
- Anyone who has a mild condition or even just a headache is enough warning for you to start screaming your ass off to see if there’s a doctor on the plane, and then you translate for the arabic speakers, asking if there’s a “hakim”, and then when everyone that you expected to be hollering with you is looking at you like you’re a crazy Ay-rab, you sit your crazy Ay-rab ass down and silently judge them all for not being compassionate enough.
- As soon as it feels like the plane has landed – or your Spider Arab senses that the pilot is thinking about landing go off, you jump up and hustle to get your overhead luggage – bows out and everything. And then when you look around and the Germans are all hands-on-armrests-and-seatbelts-buckled, your crazy Ay-rab ass sits down and silently judges them for not being as forward thinking as you.
- When passing through security, every other word in German sounds like a racial slur so you automatically just meanmug everyone you see.
- Water fountains? in the airport? I’m not gonna fall for that one, Germans. Egypt taught me to keep my typhoid to myself.
- 3 euros for a water bottle? That’s like 21 guinea! I’ll give you 2 guinea, akhir kalam.
- WHY DOES ON ONE CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE? MY PROBLEMS ARE YOUR PROBLEMS TOO!!!
- It’s a strange shot to your precious Arab girl ego that the security guards are actually looking at your bags – and not making comments that somehow relate the size of your ass to how God is great.
- Staring at babies and patting their heads while waiting in line is all of a sudden really creepy.